The Good, The Bad and The Confusing

Hi all,
Today is the day that we have all been waiting for as to further news on a treatment plan. I can best summarize it into the three categories: the Good, the Bad and the Confusing.

The Good--I saw my surgeon on Monday afternoon, and he said that the incisions look great and that I am healing really well. Additionally, I am feeling better and stronger each day, and am approaching real person-hood again.

The Bad--On the same day, he also informed me that he thought I would need to have further surgery on the right side, as the margins were bad. What that means is that when they remove a tumor, they like to have a 2 millimeter margin of healthy, non-cancerous tissue on the margins of the tumor, which insures that they got it all. When the path repport came back with my results however, it showed that they had less than a 1 mm margin, as the tumor was so large. His suggestion therefore, was to do a second surgery to take more tissue/skin from the right breast. I refrained from mentioning this on Monday, as he wanted to see what the cancer board had to say about it as well. He also promised to represent my wish to not have to have radiation if at all possible to the board, which he did. I figured once I got the definitive recommendations today, I would post the results.


The Confusing-- After talking with the surgeon, Dr. Nelson this morning following the board meeting, he said that everyone agreed that I needed radiation, and that they thought I should have surgery as well. When I questioned him about whether or not I could get away with just radiation and skip the surgery or whether the radiation would be less if I were to do surgery in addition, he wasn't able to answer me. He said I needed to talk to the radiation oncologist, Dr. Gaffney, to get those specific questions answered. After spending a fair amount of time on the phone trying to convince his assistant to have him just talk to me on the phone about it (after all, he was in the board meeting that morning and familiar with my case) she was successful in her gatekeeping role in refusing my request to chat with him on the phone for the consultation, and I ended up making an apt. with him for Tuesday morning. In addition, I am trying to schedule with the medical oncologist, Dr. Buys, and am having a little struggle with her schedule.

All this to say, I feel like I have talked with more people, but that I have not really gotten more information. I hope though, that after meeting with Dr. Gaffney, I will have enough data to make an informed decision. My approach to this entire process has been to be as agressive as I need to be so that I never see another cancer cell in my body again. Dr. Nelson described having surgery and radiation as having a belt and suspenders too. So, if that means that I need more surgery, then I will do that. On the other hand, when you are a surgeon, you are a hammer and every case looks like a giant nail, so I think to get a more complete picture, I must first talk with Dr. Gaffney. However, I have a surgery date for Monday, Nov 3rd at Huntsman for this second excision if I decide to go that route.

So, it looks like we continue to wait again, at least until Tuesday for the information that I need. At that point, I hope to have all the possible data I can gather, and those added to prayer and fasting will be how I make the decision. We will be holding a family fast, and would invite any of you who would like to participate in that to do so. I will post more on the timing and purpose of fasting as we determine a good date.

Thanks to you all for your love, your prayers, your good thoughts, your calls, your cards, your flowers, your food, your service and your interest in my well-being. You cannot know how much I rely on you, and thank God everyday for your support. My heart is indeed full of gratitude for you. Much love to you all. gf